Afterwards

As the dust settles on a setting sun,

And sheathed swords bring the carnage to a close,

I stand, waiting for the moment to dawn,

Unmoved, as Death amongst the dying rows.

Days spent alone with my bloodlust bottled,

I believed that once I set myself free,

I'd walk back from where others saw their ends,

And it would only be a start for me.

But once unleashed, where it once raged, my lust

Like battle blood seeping into the sand,

Now drains away leaving back the last dregs,

And a guilty stain where it used to stand.

An uneasy peace comes on afterwards,

Unconvinced, it suffers to convince me,

That my old craving, now disowned, ignored,

Will never hence blind this truth I can see.

But I'll know I've changed when I face myself

With guards down and that feeling at a swell;

For afterwards, we let our regret speak,

Afterwards it's always easy to tell.